“All Alone?”

“… surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” -- Matthew 28:20

 “…God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”  -- Hebrews 13:5

I want to be a fully integrated person -- but I’m not.   A fully integrated man would be the same “good guy” all the time.  The same -- stressed or relaxed, at home or out in the world, among friends or strangers, in a crowd or alone -- the same – all the time. 

It’s that last situation – being alone -- that proves to me that I’m pretty far from integrity.

When I think I’m alone, I easily slide back into being the selfish, self-centered jerk I’ve been for most of my life. 

I do things I’d never do if I felt somebody was watching me or would be affected by my actions (or inactions).  

One of the less gross examples: alone, I’m much less patient.  I fuss at appliances that don’t act like I think they should -- sometimes I curse at them. 

I don’t do that around others (not as much, anyway), so as not to make things more difficult or unpleasant for them (Romans 14), and, of course, because I don’t want them to think less of me. 

What’s cool about that is that God uses even my pride and self-consciousness for good.

Hypocritical?  Sure, somewhat, but there’s value in acting like the man I’d like to be -- in fact, one of the ways I get better is to “act as if” I were that man. 

Another is to remember that I’m never really alone. 

I “feel” alone sometimes, and I’ve felt that when it was a terrifying thing. 

Not too long ago, I was lying in a hospital bed after open-heart surgery, pumped full of drugs that were supposed to calm and numb me.  What all that dope really did was cause me to have several truly horrible and seemingly endless nights of hallucinations of being alone, abandoned and forsaken. 

Those feelings weren’t facts -- there were nurses and doctors and loved ones with me all thru those nights, I just “forgot” that in my “stoned”, paranoid state.

Much good has grown from that experience, too -- my rebuilt heart really goes out to others who feel abandoned and forsaken.  I know those feelings aren’t facts – they’re important, but they aren’t facts…

We must remember -- when we feel alone, we’re hallucinating.

None of us is ever really alone, abandoned, or forsaken -- there’s no time that someone’s not “with us” and seeing what we’re doing or not doing. 

The good news – the “Gospel” truth -- is that that someone knows all about how we really are, will help when we try to act like we’re better than that, and loves us thru it all.  Just remember…

A shadow proves the light,

As a turning earth makes the night.

Turn to Him who’s always there,

Turn to Him with all your care.

While you’re looking into the night,

Don’t forget the eternal light.

Turn to Him who’s always there,

Turn to Him with all your care.